MRT Farce
So Arsenal beat the hell out of the team from Manchester. Caps a terrific sian week for me. So what if Manchester dominated? It makes victory all the more sweeter. Vieria smashing home the decisive penalty. How suiting. Man Utd fans song bor? HA.
Speaking of Man Utd fans, I had a confrontation with one recently. You see, Man Utd fans makes my stomach sick. Arrogant. Haolian. Dua Pao. Etc. Just imagine the average Devil fan. Red jersey. Walking around aimlessly in town. Nose held high. Keeps reminding people about their 1999 treble. SICK.
Anyway, I was on the train this particular day, sitting beside a lady codenamed D.D. Gorgeous. Sitting opposite us was a man in striking red. A Devil Freak. He got that damned look about him, which made me want to reach out and punch his cock face. "If only I have Dalhsim's stretchable arms. If only murder is legal!!"
And so our staring contest continued in stalemate fashion, except that he kept glancing his eyes to D.D. Gorgeous from time to time. A lusty Devil Freak, I thought. MRT journeys seem extremely long when you are staring at others. But the next station came somehow.
The new entrant was an old lady who seemed likely to collapse if none of us offered her our seats. But before I could ponder over my choice, Devil Freak had pounced on the opportunity. Bouncing off his seat as if he had springs on his ass, Devil Freak 'kindly' invited the old lady. The old lady smiled motherly at him. Devil Freak smiled cunningly at me. And proudly at D.D. Gorgeous.
The look in his eyes seemed to tell me that I'm a loser, a fucker. That I had sinned and should go to hell. That I should have given up my seat. That I shouldn't be sitting next to D.D. Gorgeous. Understanding his concern, I decided to redeem myself. I offered my seat to Devil Freak.
"Err, would you like to take my seat, Devil Freak?"
"Now then you give up your seat. Just now old lady here need seat, who give one? ME!! You can go to hell and get burnt to death. And who do you support? Arsenal? Must be lar. Cheebye!!"
"Sorry, but I don't speak moron. Could you repeat yourself in a clearer way?"
"I said I don't need seat. Get away from my me lar. I'd get nasty hor. I do 30 chin-ups one lor. And stop blocking my view on D.D. Gorgeous."
"30 chin-ups? HA. I used to pull tree trunks out to fight Gozilla. Ever experienced catching a bus thrown at you at god-damned speed? With your bare hands? Well, I do. Anyway, it was her who wanted to sit with you, hero-of-the-moment."
"OH!!" and he hurried over to sit beside D.D. Gorgeous, self-introducing himself, and talking about his passion for giving up seats in MRT. D.D. Gorgeous seemed perplexed. She looked irritated but helpless. But Devil Freak, being a freak with no notable EQ at any level, couldn't stop rattling.
"You know there was once when I was the only one who gave up my seat to a pregnant lady? The whole cabin was touched and applauded me!!"
"Sorry, but I don't speak moron either."
Anyway as fate has it, the next station soon came and in stepped a few old ladies, a few pregnant women and a few kids. Devil Freak couldn't be bothered with them much, could he?
Speaking of Man Utd fans, I had a confrontation with one recently. You see, Man Utd fans makes my stomach sick. Arrogant. Haolian. Dua Pao. Etc. Just imagine the average Devil fan. Red jersey. Walking around aimlessly in town. Nose held high. Keeps reminding people about their 1999 treble. SICK.
Anyway, I was on the train this particular day, sitting beside a lady codenamed D.D. Gorgeous. Sitting opposite us was a man in striking red. A Devil Freak. He got that damned look about him, which made me want to reach out and punch his cock face. "If only I have Dalhsim's stretchable arms. If only murder is legal!!"
And so our staring contest continued in stalemate fashion, except that he kept glancing his eyes to D.D. Gorgeous from time to time. A lusty Devil Freak, I thought. MRT journeys seem extremely long when you are staring at others. But the next station came somehow.
The new entrant was an old lady who seemed likely to collapse if none of us offered her our seats. But before I could ponder over my choice, Devil Freak had pounced on the opportunity. Bouncing off his seat as if he had springs on his ass, Devil Freak 'kindly' invited the old lady. The old lady smiled motherly at him. Devil Freak smiled cunningly at me. And proudly at D.D. Gorgeous.
The look in his eyes seemed to tell me that I'm a loser, a fucker. That I had sinned and should go to hell. That I should have given up my seat. That I shouldn't be sitting next to D.D. Gorgeous. Understanding his concern, I decided to redeem myself. I offered my seat to Devil Freak.
"Err, would you like to take my seat, Devil Freak?"
"Now then you give up your seat. Just now old lady here need seat, who give one? ME!! You can go to hell and get burnt to death. And who do you support? Arsenal? Must be lar. Cheebye!!"
"Sorry, but I don't speak moron. Could you repeat yourself in a clearer way?"
"I said I don't need seat. Get away from my me lar. I'd get nasty hor. I do 30 chin-ups one lor. And stop blocking my view on D.D. Gorgeous."
"30 chin-ups? HA. I used to pull tree trunks out to fight Gozilla. Ever experienced catching a bus thrown at you at god-damned speed? With your bare hands? Well, I do. Anyway, it was her who wanted to sit with you, hero-of-the-moment."
"OH!!" and he hurried over to sit beside D.D. Gorgeous, self-introducing himself, and talking about his passion for giving up seats in MRT. D.D. Gorgeous seemed perplexed. She looked irritated but helpless. But Devil Freak, being a freak with no notable EQ at any level, couldn't stop rattling.
"You know there was once when I was the only one who gave up my seat to a pregnant lady? The whole cabin was touched and applauded me!!"
"Sorry, but I don't speak moron either."
Anyway as fate has it, the next station soon came and in stepped a few old ladies, a few pregnant women and a few kids. Devil Freak couldn't be bothered with them much, could he?
posted by dPx at 2:49 PM
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